Jaxeli Martinez-Gonzalez MS, LCMHCA
The pretentious literature snobs have it all wrong (read: they have at least some of it wrong). We are commonly told that there is a “right way” to be a reader, usually reading books by old or dead white men. But, what if I told you that reading the fairy smut, the gay fan fic, and the book with a predictable but still fun twist are all actually good for you?
Literature of all kinds offers a door into worlds or thoughts that we may have never been able to explore otherwise. These can all be helpful for your healing! Take for example the fairy smut might help you rewrite the narrative of what “real sex” looks like, allowing you to explore a more healthy and dynamic understanding of your pleasure. The gay fan fic may be the thing that makes you realize that the butterflies in your stomach aren’t because you think the girl in your chem class “would just be the best friend” but maybe there is something else there. The book with the predictable twist might be the only thing that gets you to feel something in the depths of your depression.
Reading as a Form of Healing
These thoughts about the healing nature of reading aren’t just mine, for years bibliotherapy has been a long standing and respected form of therapy. Storytelling has always been a way that we as humans have learned to further understand ourselves, others, and the world around us. Bibliotherapy gives a name to it.
Through the use of memoirs, philosophy, and yes even “trashy books,” we can come to further know ourselves and heal from our pain or trauma. We might see the way a character responds to a love interest and think “holy shit am I the problem?” because we had an argument with our partner just like that two weeks ago. Through understanding the character and seeing why they act the way they do we are able to provide more compassion to ourselves and perhaps more clearly see where and with what we might need help with. This insight is helpful for us but also for your therapist and those around you!
So I Read the Book, Now What?
Start with reflecting on it yourself. What did you like about reading it, what spoke to you, what quotes did you highlight, what notes did you write? All of these tell you something. Reflect on what it could possibly mean. Take some time to stare at the ugly and beautiful truths that you may find.
Then share it with your therapist. Not only is your therapist I am sure glad to add another thing to their TBR list but also they will get to understand you better. What you make of your understanding of yourself and the world helps us too. It gives us insight into your inner world and into the things that you see as important. Afterall, a good therapist knows that you are the expert on yourself and your life and therefore wants to know you more.
Ideally, then you and your therapist will begin working on what you uncover together. For example, the fairy smut was earth shattering for you. You had no idea you could actually enjoy sex and maybe that comes from the purity culture that was instilled in you, maybe it is the religious trauma. The two of you can then start to unpack that. The gay fan fic might lead to you exploring your sexuality or it may lead to you realizing you have feelings for your best friend. The two of you can then start exploring what is scary about facing either of these realities, is it that you don’t think yourself worthy of love by someone you see as wonderful or maybe it is the fear of what it will mean to you within the context of our current world to be queer. And lastly, maybe the little jolt of excitement from the thriller will help you and your therapist find certain DBT skills that could help such as opposite action.
I hope that you give yourself the permission to read anything that sparks joy in your life regardless of the reason. If, though, you find yourself relating to characters or feeling things that you are curious about when reading, I would be honored to be the therapist that helps you figure out what it all means.